Ever since the calm & joyful birth of our daughter, and high speed, thrilling birth of our son, on the front seat of the car ...... I've wanted to share the tips that helped !
When you're taught ‘how’ to give birth and tools to manage, your confidence grows, increasing the likelihood of a positive outcome.
My introduction to childbirth began with Kaye Millar in Oxford, attending pregnancy yoga classes. She lent us books where I discovered Dr. Michel Odent MD, Grantly Dick-Read, Sheila Kitzenger, Ina May Gaskin and other pioneers in the field of natural childbirth and soon realised nature intended birth to be calm and manageable, not feared.
Fear sabotages the process, slowing it down, sometimes stopping it.
Un-complicated labours can end up with intervention, due to fear alone !
Fear causes the production of adrenalin, the antagonist to the birthing hormone oxytocin, thereby creating tension and making contractions more uncomfortable. Understanding this is invaluable.
Hearing positive birth stories helps, whilst programmes like One Born Every Minute can be misleading, not showing how calm births can be.
People have a habit of off-loading negative birth stories to pregnant women, when they're at their most vulnerable. If this happens to you, say "Just tell me the good bits..!"
Even with intervention it's perfectly possible to be happy with your birth.
Birth doesn't have to be ‘natural’ to be a triumph. Empowerment and joy come from feeling supported; mentally, emotionally and physically and trusting you had the best birth possible, for you.
It was thanks to Francis Barnsley, now retired Head Midwife of Chipping Norton Hospital, that I had the good fortune of discovering Maggie Howell, creator and inspiration behind Natal Hypnotherapy.
In 2008 I qualified as a Natal Hypnotherapy practitioner, running Maggie's workshops and teaching couples how to have better births.
Workshop One teaches 'Natural Pain Relief' and Workshop Two, 'Practical Birth Preparation'.
Birth partners are encouraged to come along, giving them an opportunity to understand their role and how best to support a woman in labour.
By the end, everyone is delighted and positively looking forward to their birth.
On the evening of November 5th 1999, Ollie was born onto the front seat of our car.
Though Ollie's due date was around this time, I had no idea how soon he was to arrive.
The first sign of activity began that morning, feelings of light pressure between my pubic bone and tummy button, at exactly 7am. This repeated hourly until midday. Quite extraordinary.
After that, sensations continued like clockwork, every quarter of an hour; again not painful.
By 3pm I needed to focus, as these sensations had definately become contractions and I was in labour.
I ran a lavender bath and gratefully sank in, as I had done with my first, but surprisingly this time it didn't provide so much comfort.
It wasn’t long before I climbed out and my husband, who’d just arrived home fastened on the TENS machine.
Whilst I was focusing on breathing and hoola-hooping, Tim was loading the car with the hospital bags.
Just before 5pm I climbed into the front and Tim called the midwife (at Chipping Norton Hospital, twenty five minutes away), to let her know we were setting off.
I had a contraction shortly after. The TENS was definitely proving useful a distraction and I was remembering what I'd been told about the muscles in our face corresponding with the muscles in our pelvis. Relax them... in order not to be fighting ourself !
If you pay attention on keeping your brow un furrowed, eyes soft and jaw loose, mouth open and shoulders relaxed, it will automatically follow that your pelvis will hold less tension and your cervix dilate more effectively.
After another contraction my waters broke which took me by surprise. Luckily Tim had put a bath towel on the seat !
For the second time, I was in the front of a car in labour. I actually think it's a brilliant spot as you are so supported. However long your legs are, the seat is adjustable.
You are held by the seat, at the same time as being able to push into the foot well &/or dashboard and pull down on the handle above the window. All this leverage and resistance increases your power.
With the next contraction I could feel the baby crowning. I put my hand down and there was the head ! Not out, but just there. I said to Tim ‘The baby’s coming’
‘No,' he cried 'Hold on!'
With the next contraction, out came the head. Absolutely no pushing required. I wasn't trying to control anything. I trusted my body and just allowed it to do its' thing.
Then I called Tim to ‘pull over’, wanting to check the cord wasn't around baby's neck, (based on this happening to my friend's baby three days earlier...).
‘No’, Tim said, ‘If there’s a problem, I’m not the man for the job, and if there isn’t, let’s just get there!’
I agreed, but asked that he turn on the interior light, so I could check. And there, between my legs, was the back of a head. Oh-my-word... I had sort of expected to see a face, but of course you don’t when they’re the right way around.
Then off went the light and with one more contraction, out shot our baby. Just like that.
We were still hurtling through the night (being November 5th and 5.20pm it was dark...) and unbeknownst to Tim, his son had just been born.
‘Sweetheart’, I said, ‘I have your son in my arms’.
He couldn’t believe it and kept repeating, ‘Oh my God, oh my God, OH MY GOD'!
With ten minutes to spare, I wrapped our bundle in my skirt and listened to the gentle snuffling noises he was making. All was peaceful. All was well.
We rang the midwife to let her know.
Soon after she met us at Chipping Norton hospital entrance, wheelchair at the ready.
Once we were sorted and settled into our room, Tim asked ‘Anyone for champagne’?
He’d thrown a bottle into the boot.
An unforgetable night and great team work. Well done Ollie.
